Batman Returns1992
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Posted by Theia

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Here are some memorable quotes from "Batman Returns".

Released in the USA on June 16 of 1992, "Batman Returns" (also known as "Batman 2", "Batman - il ritorno", "Batmans Rückkehr") is an Action/Crime/Romance/Thriller film directed by Tim Burton, and written by Daniel Waters (screenplay) . Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito are starring, alongside Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Michael Gough and Michael Murphy.

If you know of any other memorable quotes, please do not hesitate to post them! Or simply if you want to share comments!

Thank you!

Note from the Webmaster: I messed up with the database once, and some quotes are now showing under the wrong film :-/... I am trying to fix this, but you can always report such mistakes.

 


Danny DeVito
Danny DeVito (Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

Danny DeVito as Penguin in Batman Returns (1992)

A penguin is a bird that cannot fly! I am a man. I have a name. [pauses, reluctant to accept it] ... Oswald Cobblepot!
[when an angry crowd throws various things at him] Why is it that someone always brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech'!
Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched pinhead puppets of Gotham!... You gotta admit, I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell!
 

Michelle Pfeiffer
Michelle Pfeiffer (Catwoman/Selina Kyle)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton (Bruce Wayne) and Michelle Pfeiffer (Selina Kyle) in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Catwoman) and Michael Keaton (Batman) in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Catwoman) and Michael Keaton (Batman) in Batman Returns (1992)

[after Batman hits her] How could you? I'm a woman! [Batman lets his guard down and she attacks] As I was saying, I'm a woman... and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch; now so am I.
[after appearing during Batman's rescue of the Ice Princess] Did someone say fish? I haven't been fed all day.
You killed me. The Penguin killed me. Batman killed me. That's three lives down - you got enough in there to finish me off'! [To Schreck]
 

Michael Keaton
Michael Keaton (Batman/Bruce Wayne)

Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton (Bruce Wayne) and Michelle Pfeiffer (Selina Kyle) in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Batman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Batman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Batman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Batman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton as Batman in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Catwoman) and Michael Keaton (Batman) in Batman Returns (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Catwoman) and Michael Keaton (Batman) in Batman Returns (1992)

(responding to Alfred's comment about "security" when repairing the Batmobile) Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working. I turn around, there she is. (sarcasticallly) "Oh, hi Vick. Come on in!"
(When the Batmobile doesn't compact like it should) Alright, now I'm a little worried.
(last words in the film) Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.
 

Other Characters
Ice Princess: The tree lights up and then I push the button. No, no, wait, wait! I press the button and then the tree lights up, I press the button and then the tree lights up...
 

Dialogues from "Batman Returns"

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito)
→ You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!

Batman/Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton)
→ You might be right.

Catwoman/Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer)
→ Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me!

Max Shreck (Christopher Walken)
→ Actually, it's a lot like that.

Josh (Steve Witting)
→ There aren't a lot of reflective surfaces down in the sewer? (everyone laughs)

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito)
→ It could be worse. My nose could be gushing blood. (everyone laughs again)

Josh
(to himself, confused) Your nose could... gushing blood? (to Penguin) What do you mean by that--? (Penguin bites his nose)

[Max Shreck meets the Penguin for the first time]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito)
→ Hi.

[Max gasps, as if about to comment on Penguin's appearance]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ I believe the word you're looking for is... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!! [pause] Actually... this is all just a bad dream. You're home in bed. Heavily sedated, resting comfortably... and dying from the noxious pollutants you've personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? You tell me.

Max Shreck (Christopher Walken)
[to himself] My god, it's true. The Penguin-Man of the sewer...

[The Penguin goes through umbrellas concealing various weapons]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ Odd as it may seem, Max... you and I have something in common. We're both perceived as monsters. But, somehow, you're a well-respected monster, and I am... to date... not!

Max Shreck
[regains confidence] Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap. I'm a businessman. Tough, yes, shrewd, okay, but that doesn't make me a monster--

[Penguin loosens an umbrella featuring a hypnotic spiral. He then spins it, making the spiral twirl.]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ Don't embarrass yourself, Max. I know all about you. What you hide, I discover. What you put in your toilet, I place on my mantle. Get the picture'!

Max Shreck
[regarding the umbrella] Is that supposed to hypnotize me?

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ No. Just give you a splitting headache!

Max Shreck
→ Well it's not working--

[Penguin "fires" the umbrella at Max with a deafening gunshot; Max reels back in alarm]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
[cackles] You big baby! Just blanks. I mean, seriously - would I go through all this trouble tonight just to kill you? No, Max. I have an entirely other purpose. [turns solomn and sad] Thing is... I've been lingering down here too long. It's high time for me to ascend. To re-emerge... with your help, your know-how, your savvy. I wasn't born in the sewer, you know. I come from...

[He indicates a hole up to the surface]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ Like you. And, like you, I want some respect! A recognition of my basic humanity! But most of all... I want to find out who I really am. By finding my parents. Learning my human name. Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted!

Max Shreck
[skeptical] And exactly why am I gonna help you?

[One of Penguin's men hands him a grimy Christmas stocking]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ Ah, what have we here'...

[He gropes inside, and takes out a flask, opening it and pouring an eerie green liquid out onto a slab of stone. It hisses and dissovles part of it on contact.]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ First... a batch of toxic waste, from your "clean textile plant". There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back!

Max Shreck
[not worried] That could've come from anywhere.

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ What about the documents that prove you own half the firetraps in Gotham City?

Max Shreck
→ If there were such documents - and that's not an admission - I would have seen to it they were shredded.

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
[grins] Good idea...

[He next gets out some paper - shredded and stuck back together]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ ... But a little patience - and a LOT of tape - make all the difference. By the way, how's Fred Adkins, your old partner?

Max Shreck
[rattled] Fred? He's... actually, he's been on an extended vacation, and... well, I think he's good.

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
[chuckles sinisterly] "Good"...

[He reaches into the stocking again - and pulls out a severed hand]

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
[scarily cheerful voice] "HIYA, MAX! REMEMBER ME'! I'M FRED'S HAND! YEAH, YOU WANNA MEET ANY OTHER BODY PARTS'!" [normal, dangerous] Remember, Max: you flush it, I flaunt it.

[Max considers briefly]

Max Shreck
→ You know what, Mr... Penguin, sir? I think perhaps I could help orchestrate a little welcome-home scenario for you. And once we're both back home, perhaps we can help each other out.

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
→ You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.

[He shakes Max's hand - using Fred's severed one and leaving Max holding it]

 

One reply

Posted by G330895 - Tuesday, May 09th, 2017

Isn't there another quote for my hero project

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