Here are some memorable quotes from "Batman Returns".
Released in the USA on June 16 of 1992, "Batman Returns" (also known as "Batman 2", "Batman - il ritorno", "Batmans Rückkehr") is an Action/Crime/Romance/Thriller film directed by Tim Burton, and written by Daniel Waters (screenplay) . Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito are starring, alongside Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Michael Gough and Michael Murphy.
Note from the Webmaster: I messed up with the database once, and some quotes are now showing under the wrong film :-/... I am trying to fix this, but you can always report such mistakes.
I believe the word you're looking for is 'Aaaaaaaaaah!!!'.
They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!
I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two! But it's human nature to fear the unusual. [After visiting his parents' grave]
[to Bruce Wayne, after mutually uncovering each other's secret identities] Oh God... does this mean we have to start fighting?
Honey, I'm home! Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.
I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... yummier. [after her first transformation into Catwoman]
(to Catwoman after she says she hasn't eaten all day) Eat floor. (throws her down) High fiber.
(responding to Alfred's comment about "security" when repairing the Batmobile) Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working. I turn around, there she is. (sarcasticallly) "Oh, hi Vick. Come on in!"
(When the Batmobile doesn't compact like it should) Alright, now I'm a little worried.
Ice Princess: The tree lights up and then I push the button. No, no, wait, wait! I press the button and then the tree lights up, I press the button and then the tree lights up...
[Max Shreck meets the Penguin for the first time]
Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito)
[Max gasps, as if about to comment on Penguin's appearance]
→ I believe the word you're looking for is... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!! [pause] Actually... this is all just a bad dream. You're home in bed. Heavily sedated, resting comfortably... and dying from the noxious pollutants you've personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? You tell me.
Max Shreck (Christopher Walken)
→ [to himself] My god, it's true. The Penguin-Man of the sewer...
[The Penguin goes through umbrellas concealing various weapons]
→ Odd as it may seem, Max... you and I have something in common. We're both perceived as monsters. But, somehow, you're a well-respected monster, and I am... to date... not!
→ [regains confidence] Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap. I'm a businessman. Tough, yes, shrewd, okay, but that doesn't make me a monster--
[Penguin loosens an umbrella featuring a hypnotic spiral. He then spins it, making the spiral twirl.]
→ Don't embarrass yourself, Max. I know all about you. What you hide, I discover. What you put in your toilet, I place on my mantle. Get the picture'!
→ [regarding the umbrella] Is that supposed to hypnotize me?
→ No. Just give you a splitting headache!
→ Well it's not working--
[Penguin "fires" the umbrella at Max with a deafening gunshot; Max reels back in alarm]
→ [cackles] You big baby! Just blanks. I mean, seriously - would I go through all this trouble tonight just to kill you? No, Max. I have an entirely other purpose. [turns solomn and sad] Thing is... I've been lingering down here too long. It's high time for me to ascend. To re-emerge... with your help, your know-how, your savvy. I wasn't born in the sewer, you know. I come from...
[He indicates a hole up to the surface]
→ Like you. And, like you, I want some respect! A recognition of my basic humanity! But most of all... I want to find out who I really am. By finding my parents. Learning my human name. Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted!
→ [skeptical] And exactly why am I gonna help you?
[One of Penguin's men hands him a grimy Christmas stocking]
→ Ah, what have we here'...
[He gropes inside, and takes out a flask, opening it and pouring an eerie green liquid out onto a slab of stone. It hisses and dissovles part of it on contact.]
→ First... a batch of toxic waste, from your "clean textile plant". There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back!
→ [not worried] That could've come from anywhere.
→ What about the documents that prove you own half the firetraps in Gotham City?
→ If there were such documents - and that's not an admission - I would have seen to it they were shredded.
→ [grins] Good idea...
[He next gets out some paper - shredded and stuck back together]
→ ... But a little patience - and a LOT of tape - make all the difference. By the way, how's Fred Adkins, your old partner?
→ [rattled] Fred? He's... actually, he's been on an extended vacation, and... well, I think he's good.
→ [chuckles sinisterly] "Good"...
[He reaches into the stocking again - and pulls out a severed hand]
→ [scarily cheerful voice] "HIYA, MAX! REMEMBER ME'! I'M FRED'S HAND! YEAH, YOU WANNA MEET ANY OTHER BODY PARTS'!" [normal, dangerous] Remember, Max: you flush it, I flaunt it.
[Max considers briefly]
→ You know what, Mr... Penguin, sir? I think perhaps I could help orchestrate a little welcome-home scenario for you. And once we're both back home, perhaps we can help each other out.
→ You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.
[He shakes Max's hand - using Fred's severed one and leaving Max holding it]