Posted by Theia

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Here are some memorable quotes from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back".

Released in the USA on August 24 of 2001, "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" is an Adventure/Comedy/Romance film directed by Kevin Smith , starring Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jeff Anderson, Shannon Elizabeth and Eliza Dushku.

If you know of any other memorable quotes, please do not hesitate to post them! Or simply if you want to share comments!

Thank you!

Note from the Webmaster: I messed up with the database once, and some quotes are now showing under the wrong film :-/... I am trying to fix this, but you can always report such mistakes.


Jason Mewes
Jason Mewes (Jay)
Die, you super-monkey fuck!
I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!
[after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth] Eew, man, she had '70s bush. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit".

Eliza Dushku
Eliza Dushku (Sissy)
Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.

It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'l-- fuckbeans!! ... That was them, wasn't it?
I don't get out to the movies that much, but "Bluntman and Chronic" was blunt-tastic.
[Hand cut off by Jay] Not again.

Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart (Reg Hartner)
And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.

Chris Rock
Chris Rock (Chaka Luther King)
[After Jamie Kennedy brings chaka a cup of coffee] You spit in this? ...Any boogers in it? ...You went to film school didn't you? Must piss you off to see a black man runnin' a big old production like this, huh? You went to film school! Does your father know you serve a nigga his coffee? ... It would KILL him, wouldn't it'! Then taste it. TASTE IT! Taste the booger flavor- I know it's in there!
Do you think "Fat Albert" had an inker? No, Bill Cosby did the whole thing with a roller and it was EXCELLENT.
[Sniffing out white people] Cra-cra-cracker?

Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck (Holden McNeil/Himself)
They're not talking about you. They're talking about fictional characters. FIC-TION-AL CHAR-ACT-ORS! Am I getting through to you at all?
Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupation are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch [Silent Bob] does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out, "When Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! Fuck! When, Lord when? WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME'"
[quoting Chasing Amy] "Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal..." Bong.

Jason Lee
Jason Lee (Brodie Bruce/Banky Edwards)
And on that note, we cue the music.
[to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comic's spine] It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.

Seann William Scott
Seann William Scott (Brent)
[trying to compose a bad protest song] Hey Mr. Science Guy... don't spray that aerosol in my eye... for... for I... I don't really wanna die. I'm a noble rabbit...

Judd Nelson
Judd Nelson (Sheriff)
The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk.

Susan Engel
Susan Engel (Ben Affleck's Make-Up Artist)
Are we gonna have a problem... again?

Brian O'Halloran
Brian O'Halloran (Dante Hicks)
I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Jeff Anderson
Jeff Anderson (Randal Graves)
See? If you were funnier than that, ABC wouldn't have cancelled us.
See? I told you that restraining order was a good idea.

Scott Mosier
Scott Mosier (GWH2 Assistant Director/Willam Black)
[staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] That's beautiful, man.

Ali Larter
Ali Larter (Chrissy)
[Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off] Holy Fuck! The little stoner was right!

Dialogues from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"

[Justice and Sissy are engaged in a fist-fight]

Sissy (Eliza Dushku)
→ Your shit is really getting tired, Justice.

Justice (Shannon Elizabeth)
→ Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-Fuck', bitch.

Holden McNeil/Himself (Ben Affleck)
→ If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.

Jay (Jason Mewes)
→ What buzz?

Holden McNeil/Himself
→ The Internet buzz.

→ What the fuck is the Internet?

Holden McNeil/Himself
→ The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

Jay (Jason Mewes)
[the monkey has been put into a car] Man, who the fuck steals monkeys?

Silent Bob (Kevin Smith)
[Points to Jay and himself]

→ Oh yeah...



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