Being John Malkovich1999
| Gallery | Quotes

Posted by Theia

No reply

Here are some memorable quotes from "Being John Malkovich".

"Being John Malkovich" (also known as "Essere John Malkovich") is a Comedy/Drama/Fantasy film directed by Spike Jonze, released in the USA on October 29 of 1999 . John Cusack is starring, alongside Cameron Diaz, Ned Bellamy, Eric Weinstein, Madison Lanc and Mary Kay Place.

If you know of any other memorable quotes, please do not hesitate to post them! Or simply if you want to share comments!

Thank you!

Note from the Webmaster: I messed up with the database once, and some quotes are now showing under the wrong film :-/... I am trying to fix this, but you can always report such mistakes.


John Cusack
John Cusack (Craig Schwartz)
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
Look away. (looking through Emily's eyes at the end)
Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?

Catherine Keener
Catherine Keener (Maxine Lund)
Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?
Just one question. Who the fuck is John Malkovich?
Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me.

Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz (Lotte Schwartz)
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.
Help! He's locking me in a cage!

John Malkovich
John Malkovich (John Horatio Malkovich)

Being John Malkovich

It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!
I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see.
That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever.

Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen (Charlie)
Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover.
You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte, I tell you that as a friend.
Hot lesbian witches! It's fucking genius!

Dialogues from "Being John Malkovich"

Dr. Lester (Orson Bean)
→ Ah, tell me Lotte, can you understand a word I'm saying'!

→ Oh yes, Dr. Lester, absolutely. You were just explaining the, um, nutritional value of ingesting minerals through a colloidal form, which I personally couldn't agree more with.

Dr. Lester
→ Oh, be still my heart!

Lotte Schwartz (Cameron Diaz)
→ You are so full of shit Maxine!

Maxine Lund (Catherine Keener)
→ I know.

Dr. Lester (Orson Bean)
→ Floris! Get Guinness on the phone!

Floris (Mary Kay Place)
→ Ah, yes sir, Genghis Kahn Capone. Fine.

Dr. Lester
→ Damn fine woman, Floris. I don't know how she puts up with this speech impediment of mine.

John M.
→ I have been to the dark side and back! I have seen a world that no man should see!

Craig Schwartz (John Cusack)
→ Really? For most people, it's a rather pleasant experience.



No message has yet been posted about Being John Malkovich.

Start a Topic

Explore more

John Malkovich to join up with "Warm Bodies", a zombie love story!
1 message - John Malkovich has joined the cast of "Warm Bodies", the story of a zombie who falls in love with the girlfriend of one of his victims....

John Malkovich to join up with "Warm Bodies", a zombie love story!
1 message - John Malkovich has joined the cast of "Warm Bodies", the story of a zombie who falls in love with the girlfriend of one of his victims....

Benedict Cumberbatch and John Malkovich Join Cast of "The Penguins of Madagascar"!
1 message - The Wrap is reporting that Benedict Cumberbatch and John Malkovich have lent their voices to "The Penguins of Madagascar". Malkovich will play the...

1 message - I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and...

1 message - I like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I...

( 2005 )John
Directed by: R. Koriakin

( 1969 )John and Mary
Directed by: P. Yates, starring D. Hoffman, M. Farrow, M. Tolan, S. Griffin...

Resources: Gramercy Pictures, Propaganda Films, Single Cell Pictures, Wikipedia and contributions from movie fans. Anyone can submit additionnal information and corrections, you can post a message into the forum, or you can contact me by e-mail. Information and materials are submitted by users and thus may not always contain up-to-date and correct information, so do not hesite to report mistakes, and submit corrections.Thank you!. Direct editing is no longer available, sorry.

  • Due to health issues, this site has been maintained on and off during the last few years. Some information is outdated, and I am trying to fix things progressively. Thank you in advance for your indulgence -The Webmaster-
  • Messages posted at this site are the sole opinion and responsibility of the poster. In no way will be liable or responsible for their content. If you believe something is inappropriate please do not hesitate to report it.
  • Information available at this site are based on the contributions submitted movie fans (visitors, registered members). I cannot guarantee the validity, accuracy or reliability of the information found here. If there are mistakes, or outdated information, I truly apologize. You can use the contact form to submit additional information. Thank you!