Memorable Dialogues from "Full Metal Jacket"

Posted by Theia

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Here are some memorable dialogues from "Full Metal Jacket".

If you know of any good ones, please do not hesitate to post them!

Thank you!

 


Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?

Recruits
[in unison] Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

Recruits
[louder] Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ What's your name, scumbag?

Snowball (Peter Edmund)
→ Sir, Private Brown, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name?

Snowball
→ Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Well, there's one thing you won't like, Private Snowball! They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall!

Stork (Gil Kopel)
→ Hey, Payback, how do you stop three black dudes from raping a white chick?

Payback (Kirk Taylor)
→ Fuck you, Stork.

Stork
→ Throw them a basketball!

Private Joker
[whispering] Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh'! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!.

[Gunnery Sergeant Hartman grabs Private Cowboy by the shirt.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh'!

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you!

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Private Joker
→ Sir, I said it, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Well... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

[Gunnery Sergeant Hartman punches Private Joker in the stomach. He sags to his knees.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

Private Joker
→ Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?

Private Joker
→ Sir, to kill, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ So you're a killer!

Private Joker
→ Sir, yes sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Let me see your war face!

Private Joker
→ Sir?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ You got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

Private Joker
→ Aaaaaaaagh!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

Private Joker
→ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ You don't scare me! Work on it!

Private Joker
→ Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ What's your excuse?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, excuse for what, sir?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private. Do you understand'!

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, yes, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Are you shook up? Are you nervous?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, I am, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Do I make you nervous?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole'!

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ How tall are you, Private?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, five foot nine, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated! Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, Texas, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Are you a peter-puffer?

Private Cowboy
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Did your parents have any children that lived?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, no, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Do you suck dicks?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, no, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, no, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ I don't like the name Lawrence! Only fagots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, yes, sir!

[Pyle smiles strangely.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, yes, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, I'm trying, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds--exactly three fucking seconds--to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! One! Two! Three!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, I can't help it, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag!

[Pvt. Pyle drops to his knees. Sgt. Hartman holds out his hand.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Now choke yourself!

[Pvt. Pyle puts his own hands around his neck.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Goddamn it, with my hand, numb nuts!!

[Pvt. Pyle reaches towards Sgt. Hartman's hand. Hartman jerks it away.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke yourself!

[Pvt. Pyle leans forward onto Sgt. Hartman's hand. Hartman chokes Pyle.]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Are you through grinning?

Private Gomer Pyle
[barely able to speak] Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! I can't hear you!

Private Gomer Pyle
[gasping] Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound off like you've got a pair!

Private Gomer Pyle
[gagging] Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
→ That's enough! Get on your feet! Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links... or I will definitely fuck you up!

Private Gomer Pyle
→ Sir, yes, sir!

 

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